Saturday, May 12, 2007

(hollowed)

I feel used.
I wish i could articulate this feeling more but i can't. I know i followed blindly and was burned badly and i want to make it my fault like i always do, but i can't. I want to be angry and then forget, but i can't. Fuck you.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

12 students arrested in Fleming - Campus Life

Friday, March 02, 2007

I was only there for you, as much as you let me be.

Feeling as nothing but a Polaroid on the wall,
though when flashing into your vision,
I transform and the old haze of the 600 fades
into a bright, crimson azure swirl.
No, I am not a gray canvas,
and neither is life.
A palette of colors, infinite with every blink of reality,
ever-changing, but also, ever-painting.
Colors fill perception before I say, “I”
Does not an artist begin their work before they know how?

Friday, November 24, 2006

where is the container?

Thinking of the human body as a container and containted is quite fun and interesting. from skin containing my body down to the mitochondria in a cell containing energy for that cell, the body both contains and is contained on a multitude of different levels, especially interesting when thinking about the body, or the body of a sheep, is that it all happens concurrently. Again further exploring is the act of ones body creating containers and things contained, such as Goldsworthy containing twigs in the air. How long are things contained? Goldsworthy projects are often short-lived, if lived in his ideal at all. As I breathe, I contain air, but I exhale that air as well. A short-lived container. Once it is exhaled it is contained by something else, but do I ever re-contain the exact same air? I suppose I must. The transient nature of contain. Where is the container? everywhere all at once. Everything can contain. I think, maybe not pure energy, what does it contain? Perhaps on extreme microscopic scales things do not contain but are only contained. Oppositely, are things extremely large, say the whole universe, not contained and only containers?

Monday, October 30, 2006

LFP vs TITVTTI and IT

I'm having difficulty distinguishing Limited Fork Poetics from thoughts I've already had, methods I've already used. "The thing vs. the idea of the thing" and "independant thought." An independant thought is a desire I've had for a thought that is wholly my own, free from all influence. I grant that original ideas exist, unique to each individual, but nothing lacks influence from somewhere or something before. While exploring this thought, I've covered much of what is discussed in Limited Fork Poetics.
I've also explored the idea of the thing vs. the idea of the thing. Something exists wholly within itself. A tree exists and is essentially colorless to itself. We as humans, seeing in the spectrum we do grant this tree a different existence by looking at it. We create an idea of this thing in our head. We define it by characteristics that are merely existing within our brain. The poem (or poam) is often a search to define this "thing" and ends up being an "idea of the thing". Similar to the exploration that Wallace Stevens does in much of his poetry, especially his

Not Ideas about the Thing
but the Thing Itself


At the earliest ending of winter,
In March, a scrawny cry from outside
Seemed like a sound in his mind.

He knew that he heard it,
A bird's cry, at daylight or before,
In the early March wind.

The sun was rising at six,
No longer a battered panache above snow . . .
It would have been outside.

It was not from the vast ventriloquism
Of sleep's faded papier-mache . . .
The sun was coming from outside.

That scrawny cry-It was
A chorister whose c preceded the choir.
It was part of the colossal sun,

Surrounded by its choral rings,
Still far away. It was like
A new knowledge of reality.


and in his:
The Poem that took the place of a mountain

There it was, word for word,
The poem that took the place of a mountain.

He breathed its oxygen,
Even when the book lay turned in the dust of his table.

It reminded him how he had needed
A place to go to in his own direction,

How he had recomposed the pines,
Shifted the rocks and picked his way among clouds,

For the outlook that would be right,
Where he would be complete in an unexplained completion:

The exact rock where his inexactnesses
Would discover, at last, the view toward which they had edged,

Where he could lie and, gazing down at the sea,
Recognize his unique and solitary home.


It is through these two texts, primarily the poem that took the place of a mountain, that I access ideas of memory and perception, experience and reality. Simultaneously observing or percieving a 'thing' I create an idea of this 'thing' within my brain. When I attempt to convey this message I distort my 'idea of the thing', and am also hindered by the means in which I attempt to convey it, creating wholly an "idea of the idea of the original 'thing' ."

It seems to me that much of what we attempt to create in poetry (poems, Poams and poams), if not all, deals with this idea and that viewing it through various structures and folds can both simultaneously open new ideas and limit, or at least detract, from others.

Monday, October 09, 2006

excercise in corners

fucking with photoshop filters



Thursday, October 05, 2006

complacent oppresion

we are all looking
twisting in the cubicle of our minds
harbor the soul from the hypnotic flourescent humdrum of daily life

grasp a sharp point, puncture the fleshy callous eye of indolence
be it with plant pill or stilled brew
using the half-lotus or purely breating
in and out

rattle the foundation of the self
shake loose a stone
a marble cornice ornate in plentiful fruit
scrutinize the necropolis of ego
marvel permanence, frailty

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Volume



Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I dream of my parents together still

I dream of my parents together still
they move me to college in a van we never owned
with a sibling I never had
we forget my kite and go home to fly it together
we are on a beach with no water
the kite is two handed and I grasp the strings tight
my dad holds it for me
my mother takes a picture as she is the artist
we are smiling
the wind rips the kite away from my fathers grip
the tails slap him in the face
we laugh
the kite flutters and dances
dives to the left, I correct
dives to the right, I correct
suddenly the wind stops but the kite still flies
hovering with the same intensity
it pulls hard against my hands
it wants to go but I wont let it
the tension is gone and I look up
turning in the wind it drops from the sky like the bird I hit with my slingshot
when I was nine
I pray for the wind again
so that I can let it all go
still, it falls

I awake and remember the little metal soldiers
all painted green that I never had


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Response to Structure in Mason Hall Classroom

blue chairs

blank walls

and nervous trepidation

first week Monday stares

first encounter glances

blank white walls with 5 years black scuff

pocked cement block tattered with lightswitches

red fire alarms electrical outlets

truncated length

animated lady paces

afflicted by poetry?? don’t use poetry as a scapegoat or joke, you don’t take pride in a true affliction

naturalflowconversation walks outwinward

an imploding exploding sphere spiking azure

skies like stars dance in the full sun of the fluorescence illumination

at least there are windows and vents allowing new “fresh” air

forked lapels speak containers of freedom

structured choice documents infinite discovery

inadvertent domineering necessitated

must there be structure? known or unknown?

sight vs. available spectrum

theatrical audacity

Outwinward

Ideally this will become an exploration of myself and others based primarily on my perspective, though not limited to.